I recently had a fellow Kick Ass Lady share a familiar story with me. It was familiar because it sounded an awful lot like my own. Unfortunately, too many ladies have experienced it.
 
And there’s no reason.
 
It’s called the ‘Pass and Go.’
 
One woman sees an opportunity to pass the other and go. She chooses to accelerate herself to the next level of leadership and speed up her career. Alone. She passes in the left lane without signal, no courtesy wave, not even a mini warning sign is present.
 
‘Pass and Go’ takes place at full speed. You barely see it. But it happens. The lanes merge and one of you must move. The road narrows quickly and instead of offering to inch forward so one can follow the other’s leadership path, or stopping to construct a better road wide enough for both leaders, someone must exit. It’s a hard exit. It’s unanticipated and you’re not familiar with the landscape. Your only choice is to look in the rear view mirror and reflect.
 
In my personal experience with the ‘Pass and Go’ my fellow female leader knew what was happening. I knew it too. Exposure existed, and growth could have been gained.We could have made steps toward better communication, a more productive and positive relationship, a new appreciation for different working styles and diverse thoughts - it was all there...out in the open, on the table, ready to be solved.
 
But no.
 
Why are women not bringing other women along on the leadership path? Why are women not offering mentorship, support and wisdom to other aspiring female leaders instead of executing the ‘Pass and Go?’ This selfish act delays women’s growth, their potential and future success. It only benefits one woman and is executed in a scarcity mindset.
 
As women, why do we do this to one another?
 
Especially when we have access to research the proves female leadership benefits the workplace. 
 
Why aren’t more women helping each other to the top? Frankly, I’m not interested in find the answer. I don’t believe in the scarcity mindset or the ‘Pass and Go.’ I simply must ask the question because it carries no logic. It holds no truth. It forges zero path for growth and creativity. It does not support the greater good for women and it is the polar opposite of a positive approach to leadership.
 
When the moment is available (and to be clear, it is almost always available), bring a future female leader in your space, share your knowledge and invite her into your network.
 
I will never forget when I moved to the exit lane. I’m guessing my fellow Kick Ass Lady will never forget it either.
 
I smiled, turned and walked gracefully to a new road.
 
Today I’m happy to be traveling to meet another Kick Ass Lady. I have deep respect for her as one of my former leaders. Without hesitation, she always made room for me in the lane next to her and took me on the leadership road. I will be forever grateful for her.
 
There’s no reason not to.
 
Smiles from my flight: Row 15-Seat B,

I’m striving for straight F’s – no A’s in my game.
 
You can’t be serious.
 
Oh, but I am.
 
This is a major shift for me. I used to be focused on all the short-term wins and I was “great” at it:

• I need energy, eat some sugar.
  
• I’m tired, take a power nap during lunch and cross my fingers for no sleep marks on my face.
  
• I’m lonely, call a friend to talk for 20 minutes.
  
• I’m bored, take a class to ‘grow professionally.’
  
• I’m eager, get a promotion.
• I need to exercise, take the stairs (maybe tomorrow).
• I want to parent better, read a book.

                               
This new space…is much different. From my Coach, Sarah Young, it is shift from the Kitchen to the Playroom – it is a movement to focus inward, listen deeply and remove my false-self. This is very challenging for me. Similar to the company I keep, it is not easy to slow down, keep things simple and travel on the unknown journey. However, in times of change, suffering, or new beginnings – this is exactly what I need. All F’s on my Rethink Report Card.
 
Faith
A continuous journey for me. I’ve always considered myself a spiritual person, but I’ve taken big steps this year to be diligent in this area. I read daily, speak with others, practice silence, listen to podcasts, spend time in nature and journal more than I have in a decade.
 
Fit
My Dad always says, ‘Your Health is your Wealth.’ I know this to be true, but taking care of my physical self…Ooo whee, this is a tough one for me. I’m a sugar addict and taking steps to recover. This year I visited a Dietician. Plus, my husband and I are working through a great debate…will I really be able to do a pull-up if I work at it for one full year?
 
Family and Friends
This group of people (you know who you are) are treasures. I’m working every day to Lead from the Heart and give them my best all day, rather than what’s left at the end of each day.
 
Fun
Strange, I know. Why is this on my Card? Over time, I’ve learned I have a vast amount of energy and focus. At times, I forget to take breaks. Short stops have become my friend and I’ve incorporated fun in mundane, everyday moments. Example: my daughter and I have ‘Curious Question Time’ while we drive home and lately I’ve been ramping up the number of cartwheels I can do in a row. Oohhh yea!
 
For the Cause
This year I’m forming a new road in my career path by stepping into the non-profit world. I’m deeply grateful for the opportunity with Kids on Course and excited to learn from the talented Team. In this role I’ll be dedicated to one of my greatest passions – education. I can’t wait to get started!
 
Financial and Founder
As a woman in the United States, I believe I have a great responsibility in the financial arena. Money is a tool and I intend to better my community with it. Amanda and I co-founded the Kick Ass Lady Club and it has ignited REAL conversations among women. I saw our ladies reach out to one another, make new connections and laugh about random subjects. An immense joy.
 
To all the Kick Ass Ladies, what’s on your mind?
 
Smiles from my outdoor deck, squinting and sweating.
 

As you all know, I decided to walk away from a job that had burnt me out about a year ago. Personally, this was one of the best decisions I have made for myself. I am a stronger person today. Happier. More organized. And, I have a bit of swagger back that had been missing for too long.
 
But, something about the decision haunts me to this day.
 
There was a male coworker with whom I did not completely jive. He was a key executive at the company and made me very uncomfortable. When he spoke to me, even in group settings, his entire demeanor changed. He was defensive, combative and abrasive. And, I’m sure I was many of those things too. Ultimately, we were offered the opportunity to seek professional coaching on how better to work with one another, or one of us would need to exit the leadership team.

He was a partner. He sat on the board. I was the marketing director. It felt a little reminiscent of David and Goliath.
 
I exited the company.
 
I feel a strong commitment toward helping other professional women. I feel we can only get to the top if we bring other women along with us. And, unfortunately, I think I failed in this situation. I worry I did not do enough to correct his behavior. I fear I let the power dynamics help dictate my decision. I worry the next woman who sits in that leadership room with him will be treated the same way. And, maybe unfairly, I feel responsible.
 
Ultimately, I don’t think I had the personal strength to engage. It had been a tough few years for me, and I don’t think it was a battle I could win given my state. Still, I can’t help but wonder,  when do we engage in the fight to make the workplace a little better for the women who are yet to come?

And, when is it OK to  exit?